Are Mourning Symbols still Essential for Women....?
First week of October 2014 when I was looking at my mom, her apperance provoked my mind and I ended up asking myself this question; is it still relevant for women to wear black or other dresses/symbols to signify that they are mourning or grieving for their loved ones? In most nations across the world have deverse cultural or religious believes but most of the nations have a common belief that when a married man dies and his wife should wear a specific dress and mostly black in colour to symbolize that she is grieving for the husband. It applies even when their first and last born sons pass on mostly the mothers wear symbolized dress and head scarf....!
I grew up in a cultural and religious family. My grandpa was a priest and grandma was a typical African woman who powerfully promotes cultural activities in the family. I was observing their activities in my early teenage years and I was questioning why they spend the rest of their lives as a couple due to the fact that they had devergent believes. My grandpa was an anti-traditional healer activities but a thoughtful and mental free man whereas grandma would consult traditional healers for help, organize cultural rituals at home and I don't reminisce them fighting about it. When I question each of them separately about their remarkeable unique lifestyle and they both told me that what is vital to their marriage was that they have 100% respect to each other. Sadly it was grandma who passed on first in 1995 and I didn't witness her wearing black dress for grandpa....!
I have been mourning for family members as a young girl without a problem maybe because it was my grandma who was organising those small pieces of black cloth to be placed on top of what I was wearing for couple of months. Are we following this cultural rule to honour our grandparents or ancestors or why are doing it? Mourning symbols are vital for those who feel that they must indicate their current situation in life but my concern is that why does it only applieis to women. Reminiscing on March 2011; my aunt was wearing black dress and a head scarf for her husban for almost a year and I realized that she was doing it to gain respect from the in laws and the society at large. I would love to see a man wearing black suit to signify that his beloved wife passed on. Sometimes I am thinking that cultural rules were made for women and I believe that James Brown's song: "this is a man's world " support what is been done centuries ago and it is still happening....!
